Win-Win

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Mikayla and I have both been listening to the audio version recording of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, and it is really good. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has never read it (or if it's been a while, this book is worth reading again!).

One of the habits that really calls to me is the Win-Win section. Everyone should live by a win-win mentality, especially husbands and wives.

Just to summarize, whenever two parties have an interaction, there are 3 basic outcomes: win-win, win-lose, and lose-win.
Win-win - both parties benefit
Win-lose - I get what I want because you don't get what you want
Lose-win - I don't get what I want because you get what you want

When Mikayla and I got married, we expressed to each other that we didn't want to ever get in a fight. Now, depending on your definition of a fight, we are still good--but we've had our fair share of disagreements, and tears shed because someone did something stupid (...pretty much always me).

Now in a win-win mentality, there should never be a reason to have tears shed, because both parties should get what they want. But in order for that win-win to happen, those wants need to be clearly stated and shared with both parties. This can be hard to stay on top of, but if both parties benefit, it is clearly the best option.

I don't think I've ever had a win-lose interaction that I've fully enjoyed because I know that the other person is suffering because of my benefit. And of course, in a lose-win situation, I lose so I can't enjoy that either--because I just lost. I can be happy for the other person, but I lost... so there's always going to be at least a little hurt.

Stephen Covey, the author of the book describes a few situations where win-lose and lose-win can be the best options. In most cases, however, win-win is the way to go. For healthy marriages, couples need to live and breathe win-win if they want to last through this life and the life to come.

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