Look For the Good & Stick With Your Values
My grandma, Cherill Hyde Johnson Gilbert, is a classy lady. She has a strong testimony of Jesus Christ and has shown great faith and patience in the face of life’s many trials. She loves her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren very much. She is a talented pianist. At large family gatherings she commonly brings a case of Gossner’s flavored milk (i.e. rootbeer, strawberry, banana, cookies ‘n’ crème) which I entirely support.
I’ve always referred to my Grandma as Grandma Johnson even through for the majority of my life her last name has actually been Gilbert. Grandpa Johnson passed away two years before I was born. When I was 4 years old, my grandma married a man named Barlow Gilbert. Together they lived in Preston, Idaho for 20 years before Barlow passed away in 2015. I never referred to Barlow as Grandpa, probably because I always heard my father call him ‘Barlow’ and not ‘Dad.’ Now that I’m writing this blog, however, I wish I would have called him ‘Grandpa,’ because my grandma experienced more than her fair share of trials in her life; when Barlow came around he made my grandma very happy.
My grandma is the sweetest lady and I’m sure that when she was in her courting years she must have been quite the catch. She courted many young men and as she says “She was pretty fond of one boy in particular who was not Grandpa Johnson.” The reason she didn’t marry that boy was that she had a feeling that if she did, she would not get married in the temple. She was firm in her commitment to obtain a temple marriage. When she met Grandpa Johnson, she liked that he had a strong testimony and a temple recommend so she decided to give him a shot. Grandpa Johnson was a veteran of WWII and was almost 9 years older than my grandma. She mentioned that he checked all the boxes of the things she was looking for, with temple worthiness being at the top. After a short courtship he wanted to move on with marriage while Grandma wanted to keep dating, so they broke up. A while passed. They didn’t talk. Finally, they reestablished their communication. She had seen others get married and then divorced and she promised herself that if she was going to get married, she wanted a temple marriage, and divorce was not an option. So, they sealed the deal with Grandpa Johnson “pinning” my grandmother, which was sort of a pre engagement ritual back in the 40’s and 50’s. Grandma stated many times during the interview that Grandpa Johnson was a good man.
Because of Grandpa Johnson’s service in the war, he witnessed his friends being killed along with many other horrors. He thereafter suffered a lifelong battle with PTSD. That PTSD impacted their marriage quite a bit. Grandma said that she had to learn a lot very quickly in order to keep that marriage going. Grandma pushed through by holding on with faith. She had three jobs at one time to do more than her share to help provide for her family. As her children grew older, got married, and had grandkids, Grandma and Grandpa Johnson were able to work through the difficulties of Grandpa’s PTSD and enjoy a happier life. Grandpa passed away at the age of 63 to heart complications.
Grandma decided to move to Preston Idaho to take care of her father whose health was steadily declining. While she lived in Preston, Barlow Gilbert’s wife passed away. Grandma knew Barlow since her childhood, but was not able to attend his wife’s funeral. A while later when fate would have it, they ran into one another. Grandma apologized for not being able to attend the funeral and the two talked with simple pleasantries. After that meeting, Barlow started stopping by after the day’s work just to say hello and catch up. His visits went from once a week to every other day, and then to every day. Grandma’s father passed away, so she made plans to move back to Utah. Barlow asked Grandma to stay so they could continue seeing one another and even introduced the thought of marriage. Grandma told him she didn’t think it was proper that they could consider such an idea until at least a year had gone by since the passing of his wife.
So Grandma moved back to Salt Lake City and Barlow stayed in Preston, but they continued to meet and date one another every week with either Grandma going to Preston or Barlow coming to Salt Lake City. They went to movies, dinner dates, ice cream, and walks through parks. They even went on a trip together while they were dating and rented separate rooms at a hotel at Yellowstone Park. Barlow helped grandma experience a life of adventure and enjoy the simple things in life while grandma helped Barlow heal from the passing of his previous wife. A year passed. Grandma and Barlow were married in the Salt Lake Temple for time only.
They lived a happy life and continued to court while in marriage. Barlow was less of a planner and more of a doer when it came to activities, so they were often out and about on the spur-of-the-moment. They took rides in Barlow’s 4 passenger plane, they spent time on the four-wheeler checking on the crops and cattle, and they loved getting ice cream. The trials in their marriage were different than those of Grandma’s previous marriage. Their main battle faced together was that of Barlow’s declining health. They turned those trials into dates by getting ice cream after each doctor’s appointment and spending time with family. Unlike the sudden passing of Grandpa Johnson, Barlow had a slow decline of health and eventual death, which was difficult for many reasons.
After burying two husbands I’m not sure my Grandma has any interest in dating again. Grandma often says that she doesn’t know which husband she will be with in the life to come, and often jokes about just becoming an angel. I’m not sure how all that will play out in the life to come but I know that God will make everything work out for her benefit.
I went into this in this interview knowing almost nothing about my Grandpa Johnson. I learned a few life details but there are still plenty of holes that may never be filled in my understanding of his life and his relationships. What I do know is that no one is perfect. In every relationship there are pros and cons. Some couples are blessed financially and others are not. Some couples are blessed to have children who stay close to the gospel while others plead for God daily to have their children come back to the fold, or even to just be blessed with children at all.
My Grandma experienced two very different marriages and throughout both of them she remained close to God and kept her covenants. She served her husbands and her children without complaint. She made a commitment to stay married even when things got hard. Everyone has a different experience so I’m not going to say that divorces should never happen, however, I love what the Gospel Topics Manual of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has to say on the matter:
“If, instead of resorting to divorce, each individual will seek the comfort and well-being of his or her spouse, couples will grow in love and unity. The gospel of Jesus Christ—including repentance, forgiveness, integrity, and love—provides the remedy for conflict in marriage.
Those who have caused a divorce through their own poor choices can repent and be forgiven. Those whose marriages have failed because of what others have done can receive strength and comfort from the Lord, who promised: ‘Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. … For my yoke is easy, and my burden light’ (Matthew 11:28, 30).” https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/divorce?lang=eng
My grandma made lemonade out of lemons. She forgave, repented, worked extremely hard, and loved. She put God first and everything else worked out. If couples focus on Christ they can overcome any trial and find true joy along the journey of this beautiful life.
I’ve always referred to my Grandma as Grandma Johnson even through for the majority of my life her last name has actually been Gilbert. Grandpa Johnson passed away two years before I was born. When I was 4 years old, my grandma married a man named Barlow Gilbert. Together they lived in Preston, Idaho for 20 years before Barlow passed away in 2015. I never referred to Barlow as Grandpa, probably because I always heard my father call him ‘Barlow’ and not ‘Dad.’ Now that I’m writing this blog, however, I wish I would have called him ‘Grandpa,’ because my grandma experienced more than her fair share of trials in her life; when Barlow came around he made my grandma very happy.
My grandma is the sweetest lady and I’m sure that when she was in her courting years she must have been quite the catch. She courted many young men and as she says “She was pretty fond of one boy in particular who was not Grandpa Johnson.” The reason she didn’t marry that boy was that she had a feeling that if she did, she would not get married in the temple. She was firm in her commitment to obtain a temple marriage. When she met Grandpa Johnson, she liked that he had a strong testimony and a temple recommend so she decided to give him a shot. Grandpa Johnson was a veteran of WWII and was almost 9 years older than my grandma. She mentioned that he checked all the boxes of the things she was looking for, with temple worthiness being at the top. After a short courtship he wanted to move on with marriage while Grandma wanted to keep dating, so they broke up. A while passed. They didn’t talk. Finally, they reestablished their communication. She had seen others get married and then divorced and she promised herself that if she was going to get married, she wanted a temple marriage, and divorce was not an option. So, they sealed the deal with Grandpa Johnson “pinning” my grandmother, which was sort of a pre engagement ritual back in the 40’s and 50’s. Grandma stated many times during the interview that Grandpa Johnson was a good man.
Because of Grandpa Johnson’s service in the war, he witnessed his friends being killed along with many other horrors. He thereafter suffered a lifelong battle with PTSD. That PTSD impacted their marriage quite a bit. Grandma said that she had to learn a lot very quickly in order to keep that marriage going. Grandma pushed through by holding on with faith. She had three jobs at one time to do more than her share to help provide for her family. As her children grew older, got married, and had grandkids, Grandma and Grandpa Johnson were able to work through the difficulties of Grandpa’s PTSD and enjoy a happier life. Grandpa passed away at the age of 63 to heart complications.
Grandma decided to move to Preston Idaho to take care of her father whose health was steadily declining. While she lived in Preston, Barlow Gilbert’s wife passed away. Grandma knew Barlow since her childhood, but was not able to attend his wife’s funeral. A while later when fate would have it, they ran into one another. Grandma apologized for not being able to attend the funeral and the two talked with simple pleasantries. After that meeting, Barlow started stopping by after the day’s work just to say hello and catch up. His visits went from once a week to every other day, and then to every day. Grandma’s father passed away, so she made plans to move back to Utah. Barlow asked Grandma to stay so they could continue seeing one another and even introduced the thought of marriage. Grandma told him she didn’t think it was proper that they could consider such an idea until at least a year had gone by since the passing of his wife.
So Grandma moved back to Salt Lake City and Barlow stayed in Preston, but they continued to meet and date one another every week with either Grandma going to Preston or Barlow coming to Salt Lake City. They went to movies, dinner dates, ice cream, and walks through parks. They even went on a trip together while they were dating and rented separate rooms at a hotel at Yellowstone Park. Barlow helped grandma experience a life of adventure and enjoy the simple things in life while grandma helped Barlow heal from the passing of his previous wife. A year passed. Grandma and Barlow were married in the Salt Lake Temple for time only.
They lived a happy life and continued to court while in marriage. Barlow was less of a planner and more of a doer when it came to activities, so they were often out and about on the spur-of-the-moment. They took rides in Barlow’s 4 passenger plane, they spent time on the four-wheeler checking on the crops and cattle, and they loved getting ice cream. The trials in their marriage were different than those of Grandma’s previous marriage. Their main battle faced together was that of Barlow’s declining health. They turned those trials into dates by getting ice cream after each doctor’s appointment and spending time with family. Unlike the sudden passing of Grandpa Johnson, Barlow had a slow decline of health and eventual death, which was difficult for many reasons.
After burying two husbands I’m not sure my Grandma has any interest in dating again. Grandma often says that she doesn’t know which husband she will be with in the life to come, and often jokes about just becoming an angel. I’m not sure how all that will play out in the life to come but I know that God will make everything work out for her benefit.
I went into this in this interview knowing almost nothing about my Grandpa Johnson. I learned a few life details but there are still plenty of holes that may never be filled in my understanding of his life and his relationships. What I do know is that no one is perfect. In every relationship there are pros and cons. Some couples are blessed financially and others are not. Some couples are blessed to have children who stay close to the gospel while others plead for God daily to have their children come back to the fold, or even to just be blessed with children at all.
My Grandma experienced two very different marriages and throughout both of them she remained close to God and kept her covenants. She served her husbands and her children without complaint. She made a commitment to stay married even when things got hard. Everyone has a different experience so I’m not going to say that divorces should never happen, however, I love what the Gospel Topics Manual of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has to say on the matter:
“If, instead of resorting to divorce, each individual will seek the comfort and well-being of his or her spouse, couples will grow in love and unity. The gospel of Jesus Christ—including repentance, forgiveness, integrity, and love—provides the remedy for conflict in marriage.
Those who have caused a divorce through their own poor choices can repent and be forgiven. Those whose marriages have failed because of what others have done can receive strength and comfort from the Lord, who promised: ‘Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. … For my yoke is easy, and my burden light’ (Matthew 11:28, 30).” https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics/divorce?lang=eng
My grandma made lemonade out of lemons. She forgave, repented, worked extremely hard, and loved. She put God first and everything else worked out. If couples focus on Christ they can overcome any trial and find true joy along the journey of this beautiful life.
-Kevin
She sounds like an incredible woman.
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