Interview #1: Swalberg Love
**This post is the first of another series we will regularly host on this blog. These posts are written from interviews we've conducted with couples whose marriages we admire, and from whom we can all learn.**
Mikayla and I started this blog with the hopes of promoting strong marriage relations. As a part of that we wanted to learn how others have made their marriages work and found joy along the journey. I took some time to interview my grandpa, William Oscar Swalberg to see what his experiences were like.
My goal going into the interview was to find out what kind of relationship he and my late grandma had together (I've summarized the interview below for those in my family or friends that care to read more).
My Grandpa Swalberg is a wonderful man. He is in his 80's and is still kicking. He is a diligent crossing guard who gladly helps elementary kids cross busy streets no matter what mother nature throws his way!
My grandmother, from what I remember, was always kind-natured and loved her kids and grandkids very much. We never left grandma's house without a big, long hug from grandma. Unfortunately, she had Alzheimer's for the last 5 years of her life and then passed away in 2013.
As we chatted, Grandpa told me how he and my grandmother were set up by his mother. They courted by going to dances, taking walks, and even attending a demolition derby (grandma's least favorite date).
Once they were married ,he said that he never really did have time to date because he had a full-time job and Grandma stayed home with the kids. Grandpa worked a day job and then earned extra money by cleaning the church, running a paper route, and cleaning a movie theater. He said that is was very common to come home from work, have supper, and then go to bed. My grandpa worked very hard to provide for his family, which says a lot about his character. Life doesn't always roll out the red carpet, but if we work hard we can survive and find joy in the journey.
A few years into marriage my grandmas' parents retired in California. My grandma was very close to her parents and wanted to be close to them. Grandpa had a good job and on top of that, he had an arrangement with his landlord that if he drove a nursery bus to pick up and drop off the children he wouldn't have to pay rent. As soon as grandma told him about her desire to move to California to be closer to her parents, he dropped everything and moved his family out west in less than a month.
Any free time my grandparents had was given to serving in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and taking care of their kids. I asked Grandpa if he had any hobbies that he enjoyed with Grandma, and he said that he remembers grandma sitting down to read the Book of Mormon. Grandma and Grandpa served together. Grandpa was a branch president for a time, and both Grandma and Grandpa kept very busy with callings and volunteering in various ways in the church. They spent long hours driving to the stake center and back for activities and meetings.
Grandpa remembers taking Grandma on the occasional date to the movies, but Grandma enjoyed being at home, so a lot of their time was spent maintaining the home, reading books, and the occasional TV show.
I asked Grandpa's children (my mother and two uncles) about their take on the relationship between Grandma and Grandpa. They all agreed that the relationship between the two wasn't what you'd find in a romance movie. They were faithful and committed to each other, to their kids, and to God. Grandpa mentioned that there were some things that he did that probably drove Grandma crazy and vice versa, but they endured the hardships and found joy along the way.
My Uncle Ken recalls my grandma often catching my grandpa falling asleep in his chair in the living room and she'd get on him about how he should just go to bed. My grandpa still falls asleep in his chair ,so now uncle Ken calls him out on it, which I'm sure might be a little endearing/annoying... depending on how you look at it!
My Uncle Eugene let me know that his parents didn't often show affection in the lovey-dovey kind of way, but they worked side by side to keep the family going. His his parents worked together to earn extra income with odd jobs like cleaning a movie theater. I'm sure it wasn't easy but they knew they had to work together to make ends meet.
My mother told me the same kinds of memories as uncle Eugene. They worked hard together, for the benefit of the other person and the kids.
I will forever be grateful to my grandparents for staying together and loving each other in their own ways. They kept close to God and raised their kids to do the same. My parents have followed that example of loving each other and staying close to God. All but one of my siblings are married, and we are trying our best to do the same.
I honestly believe that if we strive to stay close to God, we will overcome any challenge we may have with our spouses. God loves his children and wants them to be happy. If we stay close to him we can be happy in all that we righteously do, including marriage.
---
INTERVIEW
Grandpa: Ok so, I was living at home and my mother could see that my previous relationship just didn’t work out, so she talked with her friend who had a niece just return home from a mission, and they decided we should get together. My mother told me again and again that I should call this "Pat." Eventually, I did, I think a on Wednesday. She knew that someone was going to call and I asked her if she wanted to go on a double date, this was in June of 1958. In those days they did the dance festival at the University of Utah, and I asked her if she wanted to go. She said yes, but she thought we should meet before we went. We met up on a Thursday at her doorstep and she didn’t invite me in, she wanted to go walking. So we went walking around the stadium for a while and then we went back to her house and she invited me in for cake and ice cream. Her father was there and so was another relative, and then later her mother came in. I was feeling a little uneasy, but you know that's how it goes. Later we went to the dance festival and had a good time.
A few weeks went by and I found out that she was wondering why I never called her back after the double date. So I called her up again and invited [her] to go on another double date to a demolition derby. A few years later after we were married she told me, that was the most stupidest date she’d ever been on. From then on we dated but it was just single, we never double dated again. Most of our dates were to the temple, church activities, and things at temple square. To make a long story short, after a while I asked her to marry me, it was in August.
Kevin: How did you ask her to marry you?
Grandpa: We were sitting outside on the swing and I asked her to marry me and she said yes. Years later she told me that she attributes her answer to the Holy Ghost. So we set the date to get married in February. Now I was having troubles with my mother at the time for some reason we were just not getting along. I told Pat and she moved the date up to October 8th. I always wanted to get married in the Los Angeles Temple because that was a big deal, that was the unique temple at the time but my bishop didn’t like the idea of just the two of us going all that way together. We spent a lot of our courtship in the Salt Lake temple, and I wanted something different, so we got married in Logan. Ok now we are married, what else do you want to know?
Kevin: Did you continue to date after you were married/how did you increase your relationship after marriage?
Grandpa: I was going to the LDS Business College. She was working at Zions Bank as a PBX operator. They don’t have them anymore, that was before computers. It's a telephone thing. The idea was, in those days, when you ended up pregnant you didn’t have a job, so she was out of work. We got an apartment by the capital in Salt Lake. I was on the GI bill and my school was paid for by the government. I worked for a man who owned a nursery. He needed a driver to pick up the children so I worked for him and we stayed in his rental property. We didn’t ever exchange money, that was the deal. We lived there right on Browning Avenue. I finished school in '69. Our intentions were to move to California, but the Lord didn’t want us to move at that time. Slim Olsen owned a lot of service stations. I went to work for him in the office. I did the accounts receivables or accounts payables. I came home for lunch one day and Pat was really sad. She missed her mother. Her mother and her were real close. Her father was a dentist, he retired and went to Paradise, California. We went there and he got me a job. We moved in August.
Kevin: Grandpa, I’m looking for ways you showed love towards one another, ways you served each other.
Grandpa: It was the gospel of Jesus Christ that brought us together and kept us together. That's just the way it was. I loved her and she loved me, the gospel kept us together.
Kevin: Did you and Grandma ever go on dates together after you were married?
Grandpa: Before we were married, sure. After we were married, I had a full-time job, when I got home we’d have supper, then both of us were tired and we’d go to bed. It was very routine. On Saturday we’d do the wash. The kids were born and we entertained them. I never thought about going on a date.
Kevin: How did you celebrate holidays?
Grandpa: I don’t really remember, I’m sure I got her some candy, or a card, or some flowers. I remember we lived in Paradise, in the springtime, we got a babysitter and we went to Chico and saw a movie. We came back, drove the babysitter home.
Kevin: What did you do to show love to one another? Things like service, or write notes, etc.
Grandpa: We never did write notes to one another. I never wrote her a note and she never wrote me a note. We worked together, and we went shopping together, and we took care of the kids together.
Kevin: What is something that you remember about Grandma's personality that you loved?
Grandpa: She was a wonderful person. There were things that I didn't like and that's fine, and there were things that she didn't like and she tolerated me.
Kevin: Why did you fall in love with Grandma?
Grandpa: It was the Lord that brought us together. Like I told ya, I was always going to do what the Lord wanted.
Kevin: How did you teach your kids together?
Grandpa: Your mother was perfect. She did what I told her to. Eugene, well, ya; I spanked him.
Grandpa: I read the scriptures by myself and she read the scriptures by herself
Kevin: What did you do when the kids moved out?
Grandpa: Your Grandmother, she liked to stay home. We went to movies and this and that but as far as trips, well, we went to Nauvoo. We went the year it was dedicated.
Kevin: Grandma liked to stay home. What did you do when you stayed home on a daily basis?
Grandpa: It seems like Grandma really liked to sit and read the Book of Mormon. We'd watch TV a little.
Kevin: Did you have a show that the two of you really liked to watch together?
Grandpa: We could've. I'm sure we did. The kids in the summertime went to bed right at 8 o'clock. There was no staying up. During school time she put the kids to bed at 7. That was the rule. That was fine, kids got plenty of rest. We'd watch TV and go to bed at 9 and then I'd get up and go to work. She'd stay home and take care of the kids.
Kevin: What I'm looking for is stories of why you fell in love and stayed in love. What advice do you have for your grandkids?
Grandpa: It was the church. It was the gospel of Jesus Christ. That was the goal. I read the scriptures, she read the scriptures. That is what kept us together. If it wasn't for that, she wouldn't have married me. She told me that. She had plenty of opportunities to get married to other guys who weren't members of the church but I was, I was active, and that's what it was.
Kevin: What advice do you have for us as your grandchildren?
Grandpa: Go to church, read the scriptures, pray, stay close to the Lord.
Kevin: Now that Grandma's gone, how does that impact you?
Grandpa: She just wasn't well, she wasn't happy, she wasn't herself. Her passing away was the best thing that ever happened because she was sick. I feel lonely. I have this crossing guard job so I stay busy. I know that one day I will be with her and we'll be happy. The Lord got us together and kept us together and we will be together. Stay close to the Lord.
Mikayla and I started this blog with the hopes of promoting strong marriage relations. As a part of that we wanted to learn how others have made their marriages work and found joy along the journey. I took some time to interview my grandpa, William Oscar Swalberg to see what his experiences were like.
My goal going into the interview was to find out what kind of relationship he and my late grandma had together (I've summarized the interview below for those in my family or friends that care to read more).
My Grandpa Swalberg is a wonderful man. He is in his 80's and is still kicking. He is a diligent crossing guard who gladly helps elementary kids cross busy streets no matter what mother nature throws his way!
My grandmother, from what I remember, was always kind-natured and loved her kids and grandkids very much. We never left grandma's house without a big, long hug from grandma. Unfortunately, she had Alzheimer's for the last 5 years of her life and then passed away in 2013.
As we chatted, Grandpa told me how he and my grandmother were set up by his mother. They courted by going to dances, taking walks, and even attending a demolition derby (grandma's least favorite date).
Once they were married ,he said that he never really did have time to date because he had a full-time job and Grandma stayed home with the kids. Grandpa worked a day job and then earned extra money by cleaning the church, running a paper route, and cleaning a movie theater. He said that is was very common to come home from work, have supper, and then go to bed. My grandpa worked very hard to provide for his family, which says a lot about his character. Life doesn't always roll out the red carpet, but if we work hard we can survive and find joy in the journey.
A few years into marriage my grandmas' parents retired in California. My grandma was very close to her parents and wanted to be close to them. Grandpa had a good job and on top of that, he had an arrangement with his landlord that if he drove a nursery bus to pick up and drop off the children he wouldn't have to pay rent. As soon as grandma told him about her desire to move to California to be closer to her parents, he dropped everything and moved his family out west in less than a month.
Any free time my grandparents had was given to serving in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and taking care of their kids. I asked Grandpa if he had any hobbies that he enjoyed with Grandma, and he said that he remembers grandma sitting down to read the Book of Mormon. Grandma and Grandpa served together. Grandpa was a branch president for a time, and both Grandma and Grandpa kept very busy with callings and volunteering in various ways in the church. They spent long hours driving to the stake center and back for activities and meetings.
Grandpa remembers taking Grandma on the occasional date to the movies, but Grandma enjoyed being at home, so a lot of their time was spent maintaining the home, reading books, and the occasional TV show.
I asked Grandpa's children (my mother and two uncles) about their take on the relationship between Grandma and Grandpa. They all agreed that the relationship between the two wasn't what you'd find in a romance movie. They were faithful and committed to each other, to their kids, and to God. Grandpa mentioned that there were some things that he did that probably drove Grandma crazy and vice versa, but they endured the hardships and found joy along the way.
My Uncle Ken recalls my grandma often catching my grandpa falling asleep in his chair in the living room and she'd get on him about how he should just go to bed. My grandpa still falls asleep in his chair ,so now uncle Ken calls him out on it, which I'm sure might be a little endearing/annoying... depending on how you look at it!
My Uncle Eugene let me know that his parents didn't often show affection in the lovey-dovey kind of way, but they worked side by side to keep the family going. His his parents worked together to earn extra income with odd jobs like cleaning a movie theater. I'm sure it wasn't easy but they knew they had to work together to make ends meet.
My mother told me the same kinds of memories as uncle Eugene. They worked hard together, for the benefit of the other person and the kids.
I will forever be grateful to my grandparents for staying together and loving each other in their own ways. They kept close to God and raised their kids to do the same. My parents have followed that example of loving each other and staying close to God. All but one of my siblings are married, and we are trying our best to do the same.
I honestly believe that if we strive to stay close to God, we will overcome any challenge we may have with our spouses. God loves his children and wants them to be happy. If we stay close to him we can be happy in all that we righteously do, including marriage.
---
INTERVIEW
Grandpa: Ok so, I was living at home and my mother could see that my previous relationship just didn’t work out, so she talked with her friend who had a niece just return home from a mission, and they decided we should get together. My mother told me again and again that I should call this "Pat." Eventually, I did, I think a on Wednesday. She knew that someone was going to call and I asked her if she wanted to go on a double date, this was in June of 1958. In those days they did the dance festival at the University of Utah, and I asked her if she wanted to go. She said yes, but she thought we should meet before we went. We met up on a Thursday at her doorstep and she didn’t invite me in, she wanted to go walking. So we went walking around the stadium for a while and then we went back to her house and she invited me in for cake and ice cream. Her father was there and so was another relative, and then later her mother came in. I was feeling a little uneasy, but you know that's how it goes. Later we went to the dance festival and had a good time.
A few weeks went by and I found out that she was wondering why I never called her back after the double date. So I called her up again and invited [her] to go on another double date to a demolition derby. A few years later after we were married she told me, that was the most stupidest date she’d ever been on. From then on we dated but it was just single, we never double dated again. Most of our dates were to the temple, church activities, and things at temple square. To make a long story short, after a while I asked her to marry me, it was in August.
Kevin: How did you ask her to marry you?
Grandpa: We were sitting outside on the swing and I asked her to marry me and she said yes. Years later she told me that she attributes her answer to the Holy Ghost. So we set the date to get married in February. Now I was having troubles with my mother at the time for some reason we were just not getting along. I told Pat and she moved the date up to October 8th. I always wanted to get married in the Los Angeles Temple because that was a big deal, that was the unique temple at the time but my bishop didn’t like the idea of just the two of us going all that way together. We spent a lot of our courtship in the Salt Lake temple, and I wanted something different, so we got married in Logan. Ok now we are married, what else do you want to know?
Kevin: Did you continue to date after you were married/how did you increase your relationship after marriage?
Grandpa: I was going to the LDS Business College. She was working at Zions Bank as a PBX operator. They don’t have them anymore, that was before computers. It's a telephone thing. The idea was, in those days, when you ended up pregnant you didn’t have a job, so she was out of work. We got an apartment by the capital in Salt Lake. I was on the GI bill and my school was paid for by the government. I worked for a man who owned a nursery. He needed a driver to pick up the children so I worked for him and we stayed in his rental property. We didn’t ever exchange money, that was the deal. We lived there right on Browning Avenue. I finished school in '69. Our intentions were to move to California, but the Lord didn’t want us to move at that time. Slim Olsen owned a lot of service stations. I went to work for him in the office. I did the accounts receivables or accounts payables. I came home for lunch one day and Pat was really sad. She missed her mother. Her mother and her were real close. Her father was a dentist, he retired and went to Paradise, California. We went there and he got me a job. We moved in August.
Kevin: Grandpa, I’m looking for ways you showed love towards one another, ways you served each other.
Grandpa: It was the gospel of Jesus Christ that brought us together and kept us together. That's just the way it was. I loved her and she loved me, the gospel kept us together.
Kevin: Did you and Grandma ever go on dates together after you were married?
Grandpa: Before we were married, sure. After we were married, I had a full-time job, when I got home we’d have supper, then both of us were tired and we’d go to bed. It was very routine. On Saturday we’d do the wash. The kids were born and we entertained them. I never thought about going on a date.
Kevin: How did you celebrate holidays?
Grandpa: I don’t really remember, I’m sure I got her some candy, or a card, or some flowers. I remember we lived in Paradise, in the springtime, we got a babysitter and we went to Chico and saw a movie. We came back, drove the babysitter home.
Kevin: What did you do to show love to one another? Things like service, or write notes, etc.
Grandpa: We never did write notes to one another. I never wrote her a note and she never wrote me a note. We worked together, and we went shopping together, and we took care of the kids together.
Kevin: What is something that you remember about Grandma's personality that you loved?
Grandpa: She was a wonderful person. There were things that I didn't like and that's fine, and there were things that she didn't like and she tolerated me.
Kevin: Why did you fall in love with Grandma?
Grandpa: It was the Lord that brought us together. Like I told ya, I was always going to do what the Lord wanted.
Kevin: How did you teach your kids together?
Grandpa: Your mother was perfect. She did what I told her to. Eugene, well, ya; I spanked him.
Grandpa: I read the scriptures by myself and she read the scriptures by herself
Kevin: What did you do when the kids moved out?
Grandpa: Your Grandmother, she liked to stay home. We went to movies and this and that but as far as trips, well, we went to Nauvoo. We went the year it was dedicated.
Kevin: Grandma liked to stay home. What did you do when you stayed home on a daily basis?
Grandpa: It seems like Grandma really liked to sit and read the Book of Mormon. We'd watch TV a little.
Kevin: Did you have a show that the two of you really liked to watch together?
Grandpa: We could've. I'm sure we did. The kids in the summertime went to bed right at 8 o'clock. There was no staying up. During school time she put the kids to bed at 7. That was the rule. That was fine, kids got plenty of rest. We'd watch TV and go to bed at 9 and then I'd get up and go to work. She'd stay home and take care of the kids.
Kevin: What I'm looking for is stories of why you fell in love and stayed in love. What advice do you have for your grandkids?
Grandpa: It was the church. It was the gospel of Jesus Christ. That was the goal. I read the scriptures, she read the scriptures. That is what kept us together. If it wasn't for that, she wouldn't have married me. She told me that. She had plenty of opportunities to get married to other guys who weren't members of the church but I was, I was active, and that's what it was.
Kevin: What advice do you have for us as your grandchildren?
Grandpa: Go to church, read the scriptures, pray, stay close to the Lord.
Kevin: Now that Grandma's gone, how does that impact you?
Grandpa: She just wasn't well, she wasn't happy, she wasn't herself. Her passing away was the best thing that ever happened because she was sick. I feel lonely. I have this crossing guard job so I stay busy. I know that one day I will be with her and we'll be happy. The Lord got us together and kept us together and we will be together. Stay close to the Lord.
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